Ask a woman what she finds most attractive about a man. What will she say? His smile? His washboard abs? His hot car? Probably not.
One of the most attractive qualities a man can possess is confidence. Unfortunately, it is also one of the hardest things to come by. You can’t go to a car dealership and buy confidence. You can’t do a million reps at the gym and build confidence. You can’t even fake it.
So, how do you go about getting confidence? Here are five steps to becoming a more confident – and therefore attractive – man.
Remember What You Have to Offer
If you suffer with confidence, you have probably been rejected a time or two. After a while, it becomes easy to forget all the great things you are capable of bringing to a relationship. You become too hard on yourself and fail to give yourself the credit you deserve.
Before you go out the next time, take a few minutes to make a (long) list of all the amazing qualities you have. Remind yourself that you are a catch – and any woman would be lucky to have you. Whether you are hard-working, faithful, compassionate or a comedic genius, you have many qualities women find desirable.
When you are chatting up a girl, what are you thinking about? If you are dwelling on where the conversation is going next or if she is really into you, you’ll appear insecure and uptight. That is the last thing you want to do.
Try relaxing. Have fun. Enjoy the conversation. You aren’t applying for a job. It isn’t a pass/fail conversation. Just be yourself. By doing so, you’ll naturally be more confident.
Date More Than One Woman
You probably think we are crazy. You can’t manage to successfully navigate one date, how are you supposed to survive multiple dates?! Hear us out.
If it has been several months since you’ve been out with a girl, you’ll feel a ton of pressure to make it work. Those high expectations will totally kill your confidence. However, if you have two other dates lined up that week, none of them will feel like a pressure cooker. If one doesn’t work, you still have a few more options to fall back on. Men are naturally more confident if they have more than one iron in the fire.
Do it Again and Again
Once you find something that works, do it over and over again – make it your default move. For example, if you find a good way to strike up a conversation with a woman, use the same line again the next time. If you find a great first date spot, take all your first dates there.
If you know that something works, you won’t be worried about the success rate. Having one less thing to worry about will make you feel more confident that the rest of the process will work just as smoothly.
It is a fairly safe assumption that leaders are confident about what they are doing. Ergo, if you want to be confident, be a leader.
Women like a take-charge man – a man with a plan. Never ask a woman what she wants to do for the first date. When you ask her out, come prepared with a where, when, and what. Show her you are capable of leading the relationship.
Your confidence won’t magically be jacked up overnight. It will take some time and practice. However, if you don’t at least try to change a few things, you’ll never feel comfortable around women. Give these tips a test drive and see if you can turn things around.
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Ron Barraza runs a site dedicated to helping guys survive the dating world. He recently wrote a dating blog post about how to ask a girl out. If you want more tips, get in contact with him on Google+ or Twitter.